Note: This is a JOKE guide. Don't actually do the stuff in there lol.
Message to mods: I'd really appreciate if you don't delete this. It was meant to make people laugh and sorry if it's kinda considered spam to you guys.
Now time for the Guide:
After playing Monster Mash for 1 year, I have learned some tricks that are excellent in getting you owned that I would wish to share with all of you. My qualification of making this guide is because of the fact that I am [glow=green]OVER LEVEL 25[/glow]
Monster Mash is not a game. It's YOUR LIFE. So in order to make your character powerful, you must play a minimum of 24 hours a day. By law made and approved by the Supreme Court, if somebody disturbs your Monster Mash playing, you are given the permission to throw them off a cliff.
When playing Monster Mash, it is highly reccomended NOT to be in safespots with your entire team as it is the WORST tactic in the entire game. Not only does cluttering into a safespot make the server lag alot, but it looks very noobish too and is not suitable for such a warlike game like UT2004. It is much more cool and inspiring to see players go alone into a wave of monsters and bravely giving their lives to get EXP with awesome war music playing in the backround.
The ultimate goal is to kill all the monsters. It is reccomended all players should be using a Rage weapon as it lowers your HP. It's good because the sooner you lower your HP, the sooner you'll die and have Ultima activated as Ultima is the ultimate kamikaze skill. Ultima does good damage and will allow your team to kill the enemies faster.
If you are a high level with max DR and some Regeneration. It is highly reccomended that you go afk. Being afk means that you will be able to tank for your low levels and Medics will be able to heal you and get free exp. On Lucifer wave, if you are a medic, It is highly reccomended that you spawn Queens. They are very tough and deal alot of damage, and they help you waste your adrenaline as the flashing pill HUD is extremely ugly and it also increses your risk of getting seizures and seizures are not pretty.
Dieing is usually a very good thing. It will give you the oppurtunity to flame/rant about lags and how monsters are OP giving you the chance of getting warned. And the warning popup is very cool. If you were lucky enough to get a warn, It is highly reccomended that you treasure the experience by wasting 3 hours taking pictures of it. Losing is a very good thing too. It is reccomended that you always try to lose. The announcer says something like "ANNIHILATION" or "EXTERMINATION" and it sounds very cool. Also, if you lose on Lucifer wave, the Lucifers laugh meaning that he is happy and we want the devil to be happy. An angry devil is not pretty and nobody likes devils with anger issues.