Top Secret Climate Project Exposed…Participants Being Sent Back “DownStairs”
It was learned today that a super secret climate change experiment initiated by the N.E.G. had failed miserably. The project head and his assistant have been exposed as fakes and are being relocated to warmer environs as punishment for their lack of results.
“I thought our lab attire was FABULOUS”, said Mr. Lucifer, project lead. He further added, “We could’ve used a bigger freezer for the snowballs, though”. When questioned, his lab assistant, MiniB, laughed then farted out the most obnoxious cloud of green gas. This reporter theorizes that the gas emitted most likely cancelled out any chill gains from Mr. Lucifer’s abundant snowy missiles. This extreme lack of progress in global cooling is rumored to be the ultimate reason for their suspension.
Agents of the Liandri Mining Corporation were identified as the original source of this tip but we have been unable to discover any further details on those responsible. However, we did manage a short interview with the persons running the testing facility. They were reluctant to give specifics but did indicate that the likelihood that something like this would occur again was very high indeed.
Seriously though…a true comedy of errors has ensued and I deeply apologize for the amount of snowballs you’ve all had to endure. Some events were out of my control and others, while in my purview, coincided with some real world issues. In other words…life happened to get in the way of me doing my due diligence. Thank you all for your continued support of Death Warrant! It means a lot that you guys enjoy playing on our servers year after year!
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