Does this apply to anyone here???

[mersenary aka MinisterofDeath]

Readers share their gaming addiction stories
This is about gamer widows and widowers...term used to describe spouses or significant others who have lost their partners to online games.
I'm single and by no means addicted, but there seem to be a lot of people who are and it hurts their family life.
A man in China just died recently because he played an online game for 3 days straight and died of heart failure brought on by exhaustion!

Games can be addictive. But don't take our word for it: Listen to the gamer "widows" that wrote in to respond to our story about significant others and their obsessive game-playing habits.

"I had to mow the grass at 8 months pregnant because [my husband] refused to," wrote Joyce Lindsey, from Lee's Summit, Mo. "I will probably eventually leave him and I bet he wouldn't notice."

Some gamers agreed that getting hooked on gaming was frighteningly easy. Readers wrote in to detail their coping strategies for dealing with their habit.

"I was, and am still, addicted to gaming," said M. Keil from Ontario. "My friends all want me to join 'WoW' and 'Halo.' But I reject it because I know what it would do to me."

Still other gamers say they don't get what all the fuss is about. Brian from Denver wrote that his wife complained frequently about his game-playing — but he thinks that if "widows" would quit nagging and pick up a controller, they'd love games, too.

And he may be right: We received many e-mails from spouses who play alongside their gamers. Erika, from Brentwood, Calif., wrote that she nearly lost her husband to "EverQuest."

"I resisted and nagged for a little while, but I gave in and tried it to shut him up. Who knew that 8 years later, we'd still be gaming together?"

A couple of readers took issue with our use of the term "widow" to describe spouses who feel abandoned by their game-playing sweeties. Real widows, like one anonymous reader who wrote in, think these women should quit complaining and count their blessings.

"My husband was a gamer, but he died of a massive heart attack last November. I would give ANYTHING to have him 'two computers away' on 'WoW.'"

Read on for more reader responses.

I am an online gamer...I became one to understand the attraction the games have for my husband. What I found is a whole community of people who, for the most part, are open,non-judgemental ,supportive and friendly. They don't know your past, your physical imperfections,or anything that might prejudice them.
— Judy, Council Bluffs, Iowa

My wife left me for a man she met in Second Life. She has abandoned me, my children, our pets, her biological family, all of her real friends, virtually (no pun intended) her entire real life for the fantasy of Second Life. We all feel abandoned. And in her view, we are all to blame for her seeking comfort and escape in Second Life.
— Bob Stephens, Concord, Calif.

I feel my husband of nine years uses all his spare time and all of his days off just to play videogames...seems like we've been getting further apart. He hardly goes anywhere with me and constanly makes up excuses just to stay home and play video games. Does he have an addiction to video games?
— Christina, Surprise, Ariz.

I do not see my husband much since he does work 50 hours a week. However, when he is home the first thing he does it turn on his Xbox 360 and play "Madden" for hours on end. When I walk in the room and he messes up, I'm immediately blaimed for it. His family and I joke that we need an intervention for him, but I'm not really joking when i say that.
--Melissa ,Waltham, Mass.

Try it, you may actually like it! I'm a gamer, and I tell "widows" this all the time. I play "World of Warcraft" with my husband, and when the guys find out I'm a woman, they ask me to talk to their spouse and help them learn that "WoW" isn't evil...If your significant other has disappeared into a virtual world, you should examine your relationship and your home lives. If they won't give up their gaming addiction for you, maybe it's time to rethink things.
— Ary, Alexandria, VA

I am a reformed gamer who was once seduced by the popular MMORPG "Final Fantasy XI." It all began about three years ago when I moved in with my best friend who was also my college roommate. Her boyfriend lived with us as well and the odd pair would spend every waking non-working moment on this silly game. My boyfriend and I would joke about them often in public until one day my friend asked me if I would play with her while her boyfriend was out of town. I was very reluctant, but once she got me behind her boyfriend's laptop I was surprisingly hooked. I would cry whenever my boyfriend would tell me to stop playing that game, and that's when I reached my breaking point and gave that game up once and for all. I love my boyfriend more than anything the Internet could ever deliver. He is now my fiancé and the father of my son, and also my savior.
— CC, U.S.

This is a deeper-seeded problem than some video game addiction, most of the addicts that they talk about sound seriously unhappy with life in general, their marriage, relationship, whatever. Thus, they use the game as an escape. Nagging, sabotaging their computer, or breaking game discs does nothing more than push their partner away.
— VA, Grand Rapid, MI

I downloaded a trial version of "World of Warcraft" last October. It is a hugely popular game where I, a relative "nobody" in real life, is a founding guild member, guild officer and very strong player and guildmate, and everyone always wants or needs my help. It is VERY attractive in that sense, and therein lies the addictive property ... I am not very "needed" in real life, so the lure of being the one to go to ingame is a huge boost for the ego and personality.
— Addicted in Virginia

I used to be a big gamer, but I had kids and my focus changed. Not to mention that my equipment has fallen behind the system requirements of any new game.
— Kirt, Detroit, MI

Just because you can't understand what he sees in the game doesn't mean it's not a worthwhile past time. I'm not sure why it's okay for people to unwind in front of the TV for four hours but if you're playing a video game for that long then your wasting time. I have no idea why anybody would want to spend large amounts of time and money scrapbooking either but to each his own.
— Rachelle, Plainville, Conn.
Click for related content
Game widows mourn 'lost' spouses
Top 5: Most addictive games
Discuss: Which games have you hooked?

Before I was married, I was a hard-core gamer. I met the woman of my dreams — and I left gaming in a heartbeat. After we got married, I settled in a bit and started playing "Warcraft 3" online again. I got to where I was playing two hours a night. My wife would go to bed alone, basically. When I reflect on how I was back then, three years ago, I was basically a selfish person. Part of it was my career was not going well and online gaming was kind of an outlet. But in reality, I was neglecting my wife who I promised to love and my little boy, both of whom I should spend more time with. I guess I just realized that the gaming was empty.
— T. Adams, Dallas

I started playing "WoW" last summer, and I was pretty addicted for a while, playing as much as 40 hours a week, on top of work. I still play, but I don't feel like I MUST play, which helps. If I can offer any advice to a person in a relationship with an addictive gamer, it is this: Remind them that there were things they enjoyed before they played, and that the game will be there when they go back to it. Remind them of the importance of their real life "guild,” and how "epic" friends and family are. It is possible to balance enjoying an MMORPG with a healthy real life, at least in my opinion.
— Steve, Las Vegas

[Flak_Monkey]

"I had to mow the grass at 8 months pregnant because [my husband] refused to," wrote Joyce Lindsey, from Lee's Summit, Mo. "I will probably eventually leave him and I bet he wouldn't notice."

Holy Shit. That is bad.

[DW_StaticLan]

"Just because you can't understand what he sees in the game doesn't mean it's not a worthwhile past time. I'm not sure why it's okay for people to unwind in front of the TV for four hours but if you're playing a video game for that long then your wasting time. I have no idea why anybody would want to spend large amounts of time and money scrapbooking either but to each his own."

This one reminded me of a time many years ago when my dad took his attention from the 4 hour golf tournament he was watching and said, "Why don't you get out of in front of that thing and do something worthwhile!"

:cheers: To Each His Own :cheers:

[zeus]

Funny.. My wife will make snide remarks about it sometimes. But I always tell her, at least I am not out patronizing at the bars like a lot of married men do.

And it is not too big of a deal because she didn't even notice that I didn't even turn on my computer on her birthday even though we had ONS practice.. :compress:

[LngLivFred]

I'm not addicted. I can stop anytime.

Oh we're talking about video games and UT...No, stopping is not a reasonable option. I still have to get back over 99% in the Hellbender Rear Turret. Not to mention get my ELO to 195 or higher again. Seriously, do they expect me to stop when my goals are not met yet? Life is about setting goals and obtaining them. This seems completely applicable.

Only 3 more hours till I can snipe from a bender. :cheers: YAY :cheers:

[LngLivFred]

4 hours in front of scrambled porn is not a waste. I have no idea what you're talking about. :geek:

[Chavez]

All those people have thrown away their life for games, and it turns out bad.

Good thing i have no life to throw away :cheers:

[DW_e_aLpHa]

- To me, any form of RPG is the worst and disgusting of online Gaming , I don't even consider it a game at all , I think a game should be a temporary form of recreation , with a specific start and end every time it is performed - RPG is more of a painfull, anoying race wich after hours and days and years appears to have no end - this makes it ilogicall and a total nonsense waste of time - wich I'd rather spend having a good sleep - IMO - of course I like playing UT , but not to the point where I MUST play it ...

[Desko]

I once played games for 50 hours straight and died, but then, miraculously, my computer mouse slithered off of the table and shocked me until my heart started beating again. I owe my life to my computer, and I expect to pay it in full.

[Damnidge]

I have been married for one year and four months. As more time goes by, the less tolerant my wife can be at times of my gaming habits, although she is very supportive of me overall. She has adjusted her schedule a few times here and there to let me match, which says a lot. The addition of the Wii also helps as she likes having Wii parties, and has started to enjoy playing Wii tennis.

I used to get pissed at my wife for getting mad at me, but in the past there were times when I was gaming probably too much and not giving he enough attention. I play UT as my main game, but I also spend a good chunk of time playing Red Orchestra and Medal of Honor. I used to game almost every day, but that was when I was in college and just kinda moving along in my job until i was married.

Now that I am older and see house and kids within reach, my focus is now on moving up in my job (which means more training/college) and my wife (which means more time with her and off my computer). These stories make me really sad. These people probably had love at one point in their life, and threw it all away for a game.

I love UT and all DWs, but I would never throw away my love, life, friends, or family for it. Five years ago I may not have seen it as I do now. For me, it all comes down to knowing when to disconnect, and making sure you do as regularly as you play. My wife and I love the outdoors - and this winter I'll be taking leave on weekends more to go there =)