I miss you guys.

[Desko]

It's been a while since I've actually checked these forums, or been on Death Warrant servers in any game; nearly a year, I think, maybe more. The time I spent with you guys on Monster Mash, Infamous and Spam Vikings, were some of the best gaming experiences I can claim to have enjoyed.

You're all skilled players, but that was only a fraction of what makes you the best group I've ever gamed with. What I miss most about Death Warrant is the amazing sense of community and unfathomable camaraderie that endeared each of you to me in a different way. To me, you were friends, brothers, leaders and parents, and I can say without a doubt that I have learned something from each of you that I apply to myself every day.

It's a cold, harsh world out here, Clan Death Warrant. A cold, harsh world, rife with noobs, trolls and ignorami. I gave up on expecting to find any modicum of good-will or direction from strangers. At first, I tried my hardest to unite my teammates under me, but I quickly realized that my efforts would be better spent abandoning the team-based tactics I learned from gaming with you guys altogether. Multiplayer games became lonely; I could have been playing single player. It was a hell of a lot of not-fun.

I realized that my time spent with Clan DW had made me dependent on gaming buddies. I couldn't game without a partner any longer. I spent my days waiting for my friends to become available. Biding my time on forums and imageboards. I became malleable and passive, picking up games that my friends recommended, and getting used to knowing that they would not return the favor. I developed quite a collection of multiplayer games.

I began to spend less time gaming, and more time hanging out with my friends in person. I revisited my other hobbies--Dungeons and Dragons, and playing guitar. I joined a metal band as the lead guitarist, and began to spend my free time writing music. I convinced Flak_Monkey, a long time friend of mine and the person who introduced me to you, to join us as sound technician and manager, but due to unforeseen and tragic circumstances, he was unable to continue with us.

As the other members of the band had become engaged in other aspects of their personal life, I gravitated to my friend Hamish in Australia. We became nearly full time gaming buddies. However, this could not last, as he developed a relationship with a girl overseas, who replaced me nearly entirely.

I had found myself once again scrambling for something to do. I had long since left the forum that had occupied a large percentage of my waking hours. I joined a D&D campaign, but it fell through when the DM lost motivation for continuing to write material. I decided to DM my own campaign, which should meet for the first time today. It's a temporary solution. When the college year starts back up, my players will disperse. I'll be back to square one.

Contemplating all of this made me remember what a boon you guys were to me. I had the wicked urge to come back here and tell you all how much hanging out with you has affected me, and I honestly hope some of you read it.

I still don't know if this means I'm coming back. I know I've had a few conflicts with some of you, but I don't hold any grudges. I would be glad to come back, if I knew it would be the same experience as it was a year ago. Right now, it's 10 AM, and I haven't slept since I woke up at 10:30 PM, and it's probably too late to sleep before my players get over here, so it's looking like a long day. I hope I retain some vestige of eloquence while narrating. I guess I'll stop blathering now.

I don't really know how to end this. So I guess I'll just stop here and call it a post. You're all terrific.

Desko out.

[DW_KarmaKat]

Isn't it weird...odd...yet strangely wonderful how a group of people, most of whom you'll never see face to face, manage to make an impression on your life?

And while we may be playing some different games (TF2, CallofDuty4, UT3) in addition to UT2k4, the community spirit is still alive and kicking. Speaking from a personal perspective, it's what made me stick around back in my UT youth... ;) I've been through a lot of gaming servers in the intervening time...none of which felt like home.

Come back when you can, Desko...even if it's just a forum visit...it's good to know you haven't dropped off the planet! :cheers:

KKat

[DW_Ant]

It's good to see you around, Desko.

It's interesting how a community can be more of an influence than the game, itself. I'm sorry to hear what happened to your band and your friend in Australia, but I'm sure things are brighter ahead.
It's up to you to progress forward ;D

Well, when you feel like you want to revive some ol' times, don't be afraid to jump in vent or UT for five minutes...only five minutes >:)
It doesn't matter how long you were gone for, we will always welcome you back with open arms and smiles!